Dear Greene County Collector of Revenue,
WOW! This car is worth
way more than my last car. Oops! Will you please accept this $30 Barnes & Noble Gift Card as payment for my personal property taxes? They have a great selection of reading materials, and if you sign up for their Barnes & Noble MasterCard, I'm pretty sure you can get a few coupons and some cash back, plus if you become a Preferred Member, you get substantial discounts, AND you can find some pretty good deals if you sign up for their E-Mail marketing campaign.
I'm thinking, if you jump through all the hoops, then this Barnes & Noble Gift Card, in theory, is probably worth at LEAST $200.
I am also enclosing a picture of a starving child that WorldVision sent me. I already sponsor a child through another charitable organization, so I thought you might be interested. But if you don't want to feel the weight of the world tugging at your heartstrings, I suggest not looking at the picture. If you already have looked but didn't want to, I sincerely apologize.
Your buddy,
KoryP.S. please send my Barnes & Noble Gift Card back to me if you find it to be insufficient payment. Sarah Palin's new book,
Going Rogue, is out and I REALLY want to read it, because sometimes I feel like I'M the rogue. I'm like a secret agent fighting socialism and every moral atrocity. I want to hear from someone who has genuine experience having gone completely rogue.
P.P.S. even if you don't return my gift card, you can bet your last pence that I will check out
Going Rogue from the Greene County PUBLIC Library. You can't hold me down. And don't bother coming to look for me if you're trying to collect; I'll probably be out roguing (it's totally a word. I looked it up in the
American Heritage Dictionary because it's a little less socialist (a.k.a. more American) than the
Merriam-Webster Dictionary.).
P.P.P.S. if you don't believe me about 'roguing' and you want to look it up for yourself but you don't happen to have a dictionary, I'm pretty sure Barnes & Noble has some you could probably pick up on the cheap-cheap while all the holiday sales are going on. Here's a tip: check the discount books rack first and see if you can get last year's edition! Also, I almost forgot, if you send back my Barnes & Noble Gift Card, please don't send back the picture from WorldVision. I really don't want to see it again. Thanks!
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